INTRODUCTION

My name is Eamonn! I was an alcoholic for many years. During that time I saw no hope for the future. As far as my relatives, friends, and neighbours were concerned I was a lost cause and was rapidly heading for ‘Skid Row’. The drink eventually got such a grip on my life that I ended up in the Alcoholic Unit of an Institution.

But God has been merciful to me and has completely transformed my life.
I would like to tell you how this happened.

SCHOOL DAYS

I belong to family of ten children. I have six brothers and three sisters. My parents were fairly religious and followed the family traditions that had been handed down from generation to generation. They had all their children baptised as infants into membership of the Roman Catholic Church.

My school days began at the Presentation Convent in Thurles, where the nuns educated me. I was not the best-behaved boy in the class so it is not surprising that some of the teachers were not too happy with me.

The nuns had the task of preparing us for our First Confession. They had a small Chinese counting - board in the classroom. They used this to demonstrate to us how the priest would slide back the little door in the confession box when we went to confess our sins to him. We practised by confessing our sins to the nuns. After much preparation we eventually went to the Chapel and confessed our sins to the priest.

The nuns also prepared us for our First Communion, which we received at the age of seven. This was always a great occasion for both the children and their parents. I was dressed in a new suit, shirt, tie and pair of shoes. There were lots of photographs taken. After the communion mass the nuns laid on a great party for us. But as far as I was concerned the highlight of the day was fact that I got a lot of money and presents from relatives and friends of the family.

Shortly after receiving my First Communion I attended the christian brothers’ Primary School. There I was introduced to the worship of the Blessed Virgin Mary. There were a number of statues of Mary in the school. When the school bell was rung at noon the Angelus was recited. The prayers were just rattled off, without meaning. But we were glad to get a few minutes’ break from our studies. The Angelus was also recited each evening when the Chapel bell rang at six o’ clock.

The christian brothers prepared me for my Confirmation. When I was twelve years old the Archbishop laid hands on me and anointed me with Chrism, a symbol of the Holy Spirit. This Sacrament of Confirmation would empower and enable me to live a holy life and to overcome temptation. Or so I was told!

It soon became clear to me and to many others that the ceremony I had gone through was no more than a man-made ritual. I soon learned that it could do absolutely nothing to change my life.

MY FIRST TASTE OF ALCOHOL

After receiving my Confirmation I attended the christian brothers’ Secondary School. It was not too long before I got my first taste of alcoholic drink. Along with a few other boys in my class I got hooked on the drink at an early age. Two of us went on to become alcoholics.

My good friend and drinking partner committed suicide a few years ago. He was married to a lovely girl and they had two children. His business was booming and he had no financial problems. He seemed to have everything going for him. For some reason he just snapped. He picked up his shotgun and in an instant went out into eternity. Many alcoholics could tell you of times when the pressure gets so great that suicide seems to be the only way out. I felt like taking my own life on more than one occasion. At one stage I decided to drive my car into a wall. But I just did not have the courage to do it.

Some alcoholics will talk openly about their thoughts of suicide. Others never talk about it. But then, to the dismay of those who know them, they suddenly take their own lives. Alcohol can cause such despair in a person that they feel there is no other way out of their misery. How I thank God for restraining me when I felt suicidal. I have discovered, as I read the Scriptures that it is wrong to take your own life.

I can sincerely say, to anybody who is feeling down and out or miserable, that there is a way out. You may feel like you have come to the end of your tether? Maybe you can see no light at the end of the tunnel? But Friend, there is hope for you. I know this from experience.

You can call out to the Lord Jesus Christ for help RIGHT NOW. He says in the Scriptures – ‘Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: If any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him…’ (Revelation Ch. 3 v 20)

Jesus is standing at the door of your life. He wants you to invite Him in. HE IS ABLE to deliver you from your addiction, misery, depression and anxiety. But He can do far more than this. He can save you from an eternity of suffering in the fires of Hell -‘Wherefore HE IS ABLE ALSO TO SAVE them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them’. (Hebrews Ch.7 v 25)

IN THE SCRUM

After leaving school my drinking became heavier. I was very interested in sports, especially swimming and badminton. I was a member of a badminton team. But the team could not depend upon me being available whenever they needed me for an important game. Sometimes I had to be coaxed out of the pub to play in a match. Eventually I decided the badminton was interfering with my drinking. So it had to go!

Some time later a friend asked if I would be interested in joining the local rugby team. I was six feet in height, well built and fit. I should be very suitable for the game, he thought. I decided to join the team. Rugby became a very important part of my life during the following seventeen years

Shortly after joining the team I was introduced to the social side of rugby. I would like to point out here that I am not being critical of rugby or of anybody who plays the game. I just want to say the social side of rugby affected me personally, for it involved a lot of heavy drinking. We drank after each game. If we won, we drank. If we lost, we drank. Regardless of the outcome of the match we celebrated with a drink.

I drank before and after training. I had to have a few drinks before a game, to calm the nerves and boost the courage. The ‘adrenalin stimulator’ was especially necessary if the opposing team included a panel of ‘hard chaws’. Slowly but surely the alcohol continued to gain more control over my life.

SHOCKED BY THE TRUTH

In 1973 I got a job with the Erin Foods Company. For a period of eight years I worked as a helper on the trucks, delivering products to various parts of the country. Sometimes this involved staying out overnight. That suited me. I had more freedom to drink whenever I was away from home.

My father had worked for many years in another branch of the same Company. I now earned more money than he did. But most of the money I earned was spent on drink. My addiction continued to worsen.

I eventually got tired of all the travelling and moved in to the factory. I worked at different jobs, including forklift driving. Later on I was moved to the first floor of the factory. It was during my time in this area that I came into contact with Dick Keogh. I had known him for some time, and knew he enjoyed life. He was in the music business and had been in a band for some years.

But after a few weeks I noticed that he was a changed man. He was now talking about God. He was telling us Jesus Christ had died for us and could save us. I noticed everything he told us was from the Bible. He had a little book with a red cover. On it were written the words - ‘New Testament’. At that time I didn’t know what a New Testament was. I was in complete ignorance concerning the Bible. I didn’t know it contains sixty-six books and consists of an Old and New Testament.

It saddens me to think that even today, here in Ireland, there are thousands of people who are still in ignorance concerning the Scriptures. Many have never even heard the Gospel. A lot of people are unaware of the fact that – ‘…It (The Gospel) is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth’. (Romans Ch. 1 v 16)

Well, this man was showing us in his New Testament that Christ willingly went to Calvary on our behalf and took our place by becoming our substitute. As Jesus suffered and died upon the cross He paid in full the penalty for the guilt of our sins. He laid down His life as a ‘Once-For-All’ Sacrifice for sin. He showed us Ephesians Ch.2 v 8, 9, which says - ‘For by GRACE are ye saved through FAITH; and that not of yourselves: it is the GIFT of God: NOT OF WORKS, lest any man should boast’.

I was shocked to hear that a person is saved by Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I had been taught that salvation must be earned or merited through good works and membership of the ‘One True Church’. Now for the first time in my life I was learning what the Scriptures had to say concerning salvation. It was quite a shock to my system. But I was not prepared to put aside the traditions and teachings that had been handed down to me. I had learned these both at home and at school.

I remember something the nuns taught me as they prepared me for my First Communion. They told me Jesus would actually be present in the host the priest placed in my mouth. I would also be receiving Christ every time I received communion throughout the rest of my life.

The christian brothers taught me that the statue of the Blessed Virgin standing on the serpent’s head depicted Mary’s power over the Devil. They also taught me that the Blessed Virgin was sinless, and that she could Mediate for me in Heaven. These teachings and traditions I had learned since childhood were very important to me.

So I decided to oppose this man and the message he was proclaiming. I encouraged some of my work - mates in the factory to make life difficult for him. We tormented him as much as we could. We hid his New Testament, abused him verbally and really black - guarded him. I nicknamed him ‘The Bishop’.

NO BACKDOORS

One day I was so busy on my machine that I could not leave it. I was watching some of my friends as they tried to torment Dick. They were verbally abusing him and trying to make him angry. They tried everything to upset him. But he just kept smiling through it all. This really bugged me.

That was the day I finally realised that this man had something different. Whatever it was we could not break it, no matter how hard we tried. There and then I decided to ask my friend Jimmy if he would accompany me to one of the Bible Studies. Jimmy was one of those who took great delight in making life difficult for ‘The Bishop’. We decided we would go to the meeting just to have a good laugh at the people there. We were not sure if we would be allowed to attend. But when we asked Dick he reached out and shook our hands. He told us we would be very welcome to come to one of the meetings. These were held in his home on Tuesday and Friday nights and on Sunday mornings.

On the following Tuesday night we arrived outside his home. We could hear the singing coming from the room in which the meeting was being held. We just burst out laughing. At one stage we had to bite our jumpers in case our laughter could be heard above the singing. Even when we walked into the room we were laughing loudly. But they did not seem to mind. They just continued what they were doing.

What really spoke to me was the way they were praying. The prayers were so meaningful and personal. They seemed to be praying to someone with whom they actually had a personal relationship.

Then Dick brought a message from the Scriptures. The smiles soon came off our faces. The Gospel message he shared that night was not watered down. It went straight to the heart. As I listened it became very clear that there were no backdoors into Heaven. I learned at that meeting that Jesus said – ‘…I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me’. (John Ch. 14 v 6)

I had been hoping to get into Heaven through one of the back doors. I had hoped to gain entry through my own good works, membership of the Church, and dependence upon the Blessed Virgin the Saints. But the message of the Scriptures was very clear that night. SALVATION IS BY FAITH ALONE IN CHRIST ALONE.

God’s Word really penetrated. I was being confronted with the truth. And it hurt!

In the Bible it says – ‘For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two - edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart’. (Hebrews Ch.4 v 12)

I realised that night that this was true. As the word of God was being proclaimed my heart was touched and I was really challenged. It hurt me when I realised what Jesus had to do in order to save sinners like me. My laughter nearly turned to tears. But I was too proud to let the tears flow.

I knew I needed to respond to God’s love for me. But I was not prepared to give up the traditions I had grown up with. Nor was I willing to give up my carefree lifestyle. I was especially determined that I would not give up the drink. It meant too much to me.

SITTING ON THE FENCE

We got an invitation to come to other meetings. I attended a number of them. There I learned that when Jesus had given the bread and wine to His Apostles at the Last Supper He said to them – ‘…This do in remembrance of me’. (Luke Ch.22 v 19) The bread was to remind them of His body and the wine was to remind them of His blood. Jesus would soon be leaving and would not be physically present with them. But He wanted them to continue to remember Him, especially whenever they met to partake of the bread and wine.

St Paul wrote to the Church in Corinth concerning the Lord’s Supper. He said – ‘For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord’s death TILL HE COME’. (1 Corinthians Ch.11 v 26)

The emblems of bread and wine were just reminders of the Lord’s death. This remembrance supper, instituted by the Lord Jesus Christ, is to be observed until He returns.

It was now clear to me that Christ could not have been present in that host I had received at my First Communion. Nor was He present in any communion I had received since then. According to the Scriptures the risen Saviour is at His Father’s right hand in Heaven, as our High Priest, Mediator and Advocate.

I also learned that the Blessed Virgin Mary didn’t crush the serpent’s head. The Lord Jesus Christ defeated Satan at Calvary. I discovered that there is only ONE Mediator in Heaven – ‘For there in one God, and ONE Mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus’. (1Timothy Ch.2 v 5)

As I continued to attend the meetings I heard the way of salvation expounded very clearly. What an eye – opener it was to learn that Christ had suffered and died on the cross as MY substitute, paying the penalty for MY sins. The more I heard God’s Word proclaimed the more convinced I became of what I should do. I knew the step I had to take.

But for many years I just ‘sat on the fence’. I was happy enough to have one foot in the world and the other in Christianity. At one stage I even professed to know Jesus. But deep down in my heart I knew I was far away from God.

The Lord was calling me to follow Him, but I did not want to know. I was just like the Prophet Jonah. When God called him he ran in the opposite direction. I was certainly running away from God. He continued to patiently call me. But I resisted. I even argued with God. I asked – ‘Why me?’ I told God I was not prepared to follow Him. I was not prepared to give up my drinking or to change my lifestyle. I was quite happy to have a ‘religious front’ and to wear a mask of respectability.

I felt I could live a double life. I could LOOK like a Christian, but LIVE like a pagan. I can say to anybody who is in a similar position today that ‘sitting on the fence’ will just make you miserable. You will feel torn asunder, tormented and confused. That’s just how I felt.

FIREWATER

My drinking continued to get heavier. It finally got to the stage where I was having blackouts. I did not realise this and thought I was just becoming forgetful. But eventually I began to notice that something was wrong. When people asked if I enjoyed being in a particular place or doing a particular thing, I didn’t know what they were talking about. They must have known by the blank expression on my face that I wasn’t ‘with it’ at all. I became so embarrassed by this that I began to lie to people. I pretended to remember where I had been and what I had done.

I was being very badly affected by the drink at this stage. It is not surprising that the Red Indians referred to alcohol as ‘Firewater’. They also called it the ‘Spirit’. As far as I am concerned it is an evil spirit. It is used by the Devil to destroy individuals, families, and even whole communities.

The glitter and tinsel setting of television advertisements for alcoholic drink deceived me. I have often said that the liquor reminds me of a rose garden. The rose looks beautiful. But when you touch it you soon discover there are also thorns. And they sting! This is how it was with the booze. When I touched it I got badly stung.

I realised my health was beginning to be affected. But I was still craving for the very thing that was destroying me. Unknown to myself I had now entered what is technically known as the ‘chronic’ stage of alcoholism.

A ‘DOG IN THE CORNER’

When I met Bernie she didn’t realise my addiction to the drink was so serious. While we were dating I took great care to ensure I was never badly intoxicated whenever I was in her company. But shortly after our marriage she began to experience the difficulties associated with alcoholism. She was very patient and made every effort to help me overcome my addiction. But my craving for alcohol continued to increase.

We have three lovely children. Barbara, our oldest girl, is handicapped. Shortly after being born she was diagnosed as having Cerebral Palsy. Yvonne is our second daughter. Our son’s name is Matthew. Barbara will never know that her father was an alcoholic. Matthew didn’t ever see me drunk. But Yvonne did see a lot of what went on. She often pleaded with me not to go out drinking.

I can remember seeing a look of helplessness in the eyes of my wife and children. It reminded me of the same helplessness I saw on television in the eyes of the unfortunate children of Biafra and Ethiopia. My family felt so helpless as they saw me continuing to destroy myself. But nothing would stop me.

If I wanted drink I had to have it. When I didn’t have the money for drink I was not a very nice person to be at home with. I was like a ‘dog in the corner’. Nobody could come near me in case they got bitten. It breaks my heart now when I think of the hurt I caused to my wife and children.

My drinking became so heavy I could no longer hold down my job in Erin Foods. When I got my redundancy money I gave my family what I considered to be their portion. But I spent a far larger amount on the booze. I kept drinking day after day until every penny was gone. The alcohol eventually began to take its toll on my body. My health broke down and I was diagnosed as having Burgess’ Disease. This is a blood disorder. In my case it was caused by excessive alcohol.

ON ‘SKID ROW’

One evening I finally realised I was heading for ‘Skid Row.’ I had been in the pub since early that morning. I was very intoxicated. But I got into my car and drove to Dick and Mary Keogh’s home. I was drunk, crying and sick. I was in a terrible state and felt all broken up inside.

Dick and Mary were glad to see me. They talked to me for a long time and counseled me. They offered to help me get my life in order. Acting on their advice I agreed that Dick should take me to get a letter from my doctor stating I was in urgent need of Detoxification.

He then took me to an Institution, where I was admitted to the ‘Drying Out’ unit. He stayed with me until I was settled in, and then went to my home and explained the situation to my wife and family. They were very relieved to hear that I was finally willing to admit that I had a problem. The fact that I was prepared to accept help to overcome my addiction was a real encouragement to them.

I spent three weeks in that Institution. After I had been ‘dried out’ it was suggested that I could benefit greatly by spending some time in an Institution that ran a recovery programme for alcoholics. I agreed to this, and was transferred to a unit in Co. Waterford.

Not one of my drinking partners came to visit me during my stay in that unit. None of them even sent me a ‘Get Well’ card. They had no interest in me now because I could not buy them a few drinks. When I had money in my pocket and was buying rounds for the boys I was a very popular fellow. But now they just did not want to know me. I learned a very important lesson. As far as the alcoholic is concerned the drink is far more important than people are.

JUST A ‘SOCIAL’ DRINK

At this stage I was in very bad shape. I was a broken man and was suffering from the shakes. I had entered a condition known to alcoholics as ‘The Rats’. Having been without a drink for over three weeks I was now having severe withdrawal symptoms. It felt as if I was having a heavy bout of ‘flu twenty times each day. My heart was palpitating and I was convinced I could see things flickering up before my eyes. I could hear voices in my head. They were saying - ‘Everybody is laughing at you. You are foolish to be going through this torture. Go back home and have a few drinks. Then you will feel fine’.

During the time I spent in that unit my eyes were really opened to the power and evil of alcohol. I saw a man who had to be restrained in a strait-jacket in case he might kill himself or somebody else. One of the men in my ward was dying of Cirrhosis of the liver. The consumption of excessive amounts of alcohol had caused this condition. He was only forty years of age. On his death-bed he was crying out for a drink, the very thing that was literally killing him.

These were men whose introduction to alcohol began with a ‘social drink’. But a social drink soon became excessive drunkenness. Then it finally developed into soul-destroying alcoholism.

It is not surprising that God says in His word – ‘Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolators, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor DRUNKARDS, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God’. (1Corinthians Ch.6 vs 9, 10)

According to the Scriptures no drunkard will enter heaven. But God is willing to save and to change drunkards. In verse 11 He says – ‘And such WERE some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God’.

I know this is true. I was a drunkard and was steeped in sin. But I thank God that He is interested in saving and delivering the drunkard.

One of the patients in my ward was a man named Martin. He was suffering from deep depression because his wife had left him. One morning he tried to hang himself in the hospital bathroom. Throughout the remainder of the day he refused to talk to anybody or to eat any food.

Dick and his father came to visit me that evening. Both of them had a long talk with Martin. He responded, and cheered up. From then on he began to improve. I was delighted to hear that after he was discharged from the hospital he attended a Gospel meeting in Waterford Baptist Church. Michael Grant, the Pastor of that Church, had visited me in the Institution and had helped me a lot.

NO CONDEMNATION

As the weeks went by my mind began to clear. I was able to remember a lot of what I had heard over the years concerning the Lord Jesus Christ. I recalled one of the Scripture verses I had heard - ‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life’. (John Ch.3 v 16)

I wondered if God could love me? I knew I was a filthy sinner and did not deserve God’s mercy. I reckoned my sin was so black that God could not forgive me. I had hurt a lot of people. I had offended God. It just didn’t seem possible that I could be forgiven.

But God brought to mind a passage of Scripture I had heard in the past. It says – ‘There is therefore now NO CONDEMNATION to them which are in Christ Jesus…’ (Romans Ch.8 v 1)

I remembered hearing that all the condemnation for my sins was placed on the shoulders of the Lord Jesus Christ as He hung upon the cross at Calvary. As He suffered and died as my substitute He paid in full the penalty for all my sins. I finally realised that because Jesus Christ had already borne the punishment for my sins I could be forgiven. In fact I could be forgiven RIGHT NOW.

I got down on my knees in the privacy of my room in that Institution in Waterford and repented of my sins. Then I asked God to forgive me and to come into my life and change me. I asked Him to make me the person He wanted me to be. This was no half-hearted request. It was a cry from the heart. God answered my cry and came into my life that night.

Many years previously I had fallen in the mud and the mire of sin. I had been sinking fast. I had sunk so low it seemed there was nothing left above the mire but my hand. But when I called out to God for help He clasped that hand and pulled me up out of the pit of sin.

In the Scriptures we read the following words - ‘I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.’ (Psalm 40 vs. 1, 2)

BACK HOME

I was a changed man when I came home from that Institution. God had changed me. He had completely taken away the desire for alcohol. He had placed within my heart a determination to live for Him in such a way that Glory would be brought to His Name. I applied to join the Evangelical Church in Thurles. After some months I was received into membership.

Some time later I felt I should work alongside my good friends Brian and Cathy Harvey and their son David. They and some friends were involved in holding children’s meetings in Thurles and Roscrea. These 5-Day Clubs consisted of Bible stories, quizzes, memory verses and choruses.

Bernie and I then decided to hold children’s meetings in our home on Saturdays. We visited our neighbours and asked if they would give their children permission to attend our Good-News-Club. We asked Dick and Mary Keogh and their daughter Rebecca to help us lead the meetings.

One of the lessons we have covered with the children is called ‘Pilgrim’s Progress’. The youngsters listened very attentively as they were told about people who find themselves in the ‘Valley of Decision’. These are people who realise their need to respond positively to Jesus’ invitation. He said – ‘Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest’. (Matthew Ch.11 v 28)

WASTED YEARS RESTORED

Some time ago I listened to a song called ‘Wasted Years’. The words of the song seem to describe the part of my life that was completely wasted on drink.

But I thank God that He has given me a new start. I can now identify with what He says in His word – ‘Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: OLD things are passed away; behold, all things are become NEW’. (2 Corinthians Ch.5 v 17) God, in His grace and mercy, has picked up the pieces of my shattered life and restored me.

I have written this little booklet to remind those still struggling with alcohol addiction that they need not despair. There is a God of love and compassion who is willing and able to save your soul and to deliver you from your misery.

WHEN can you come to the Lord and receive His forgiveness? -

‘Come NOW, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool’. (Isaiah Ch. 1 v 18)

‘…Behold, NOW is the accepted time; behold, NOW is the day of salvation.’ (2 Corinthians Ch.6 v 2)

INVITATION

Dear Friend, many people had given up on me. But God hadn’t. He was interested in me. And I know He is interested in you! When it seemed as if nobody loved me, He did. And He loves you. Jesus has already proved how much He loves you by willingly dying on the cross as your substitute.

Why not come to Him today? Acknowledging the fact that you are a sinner, come to Him in sincere repentance. Right now, just where you are, you can ask Him to forgive you and to save you. Ask Him to come into your life as Saviour and Lord and to change you.

And HE WILL!

God says in His word – ‘Call unto me, and I will answer thee’. (Jeremiah Ch. 33 v 3)

‘For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved’. (Romans 10 v 13)

It is my heart’s desire and prayer to God that TODAY you will put your life in the hands of Jesus.

He said – ‘…I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly’. (John Ch.10 v 10)